


material

by nonwal



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, coats as a different metaphor, in general just a lot of objects standing in for intangible things because that's Caleb's whole deal, spell components as a metaphor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-11 21:13:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20160178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonwal/pseuds/nonwal
Summary: Cali gave him a wand.(In which Caleb Widogast takes inventory of his spell components and contemplates a future with lighter pockets.)





	material

When he has the time, when they are somewhere safe or at least as safe as he’s ever been, he sits down. Unrolls a strip of leather. 

(Pauses at the necklace at his neck. Safe as he’s ever been, but not safe. Not yet.)

And then he takes inventory.

Copper wire. He’d been playing around with it for a long time, knew that it was a component for the message cantrip, but it was Nott who showed him how to do it properly. The trick is to fold, unfold, reverse.

There’s a little pot of rouge, for the cantrip he doesn’t particularly like using. More useful for making enemies than friends, but everything has a place. 

A diamond. It meant so much at the time, all of his money to access one little spell. But he has so many more options now that he can’t imagine preparing it again. Jester or Caduceus should have this, not him.

There’s a pearl, valuable, and a tiny feather, not so much. A spell of convenience, impatience. That one he intends to keep.

A strap of leather. A dull iron nail. A cat’s paw, made of clay. A length of adder’s gut. A little glass bead. 

He has to refresh his supplies on occasion. Silver thread, such a large spool but running so low because he’s nothing if not a paranoid bastard. Reasonable measures of soot, salt, sand. A vial of sweet oil, nearly empty now, but he has honeycomb as well. Tallow. A handful of coccoons, delicate little things he plucks from bushes whenever he sees them because he loves what they let him do. Molasses, licorice root. The catnip, too, carefully dried and tucked away, the result of so much research and experimentation but well worth it in the end.

Some have multiple purposes. Phosphorus, for a bit of light or a lot of fire. It’s volatile, prone to ignition, leaves a waxy smear in his palm. Powdered iron for enlarging or reducing or conjuring a flaming sphere, sulfur for the flaming sphere but also much larger fireballs. He’d been running low on guano, but that problem solved itself tidily enough. He has plenty, now. So much.

So much to carry around with him. Not only the components themselves, but the knowledge of how each functions, which connects to what aspect of the arcane he needs in a particular moment, which pocket he's stored it in. The upkeep to keep from running out. The memory of where he obtained each object, the connotations, the _ meaning _ behind them all.

Cali gave him a wand. Told him, _ I don’t want your pockets to get too heavy. _

Caleb takes out his books. Writes some. Thinks about it, for a while. Contemplates how each spell functions with its component, how each would be different without.

He has a new coat. One pocket is already sticky with molasses residue and others are coated in various powders. Eventually it’ll smell like the old one, that timeline accelerated now with his fresh supply of bat shit, but at the moment it’s so nice, the nicest thing he's worn in over a decade.

Does he deserve nice things? Does it feel just a bit lighter, with everything removed and placed neatly aside?

After seven minutes, Caleb begins to put things away. There’s a certain satisfaction in the ritual of it. A comfort in knowing exactly what he has and what he can do with it and where he can get more if he runs out or if it is taken from him.

He has the option now, to empty out his pockets, but he doesn’t want to. Not now. Not yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me I'm not the only one who immediately thought of Cali's letter during this scene.


End file.
